Saturday, November 20, 2010

Can Someone Please Direct Me To The Starting Line?

I've started this a thousand times. Finding myself, I mean.  Not the blog.  I came to a realization about an hour ago which prompted me to start this little piece of nothingness.  HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE WHEN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE YOU CAME FROM?

My situation is nothing extraordinary.  I grew up with both parents, that always provided for us. A sister, with who I had the typical sibling rivalry with. Friends that I made plans to grow up and old with.  I had an amazing childhood. Or at least, I think I did.

The funny thing about reminicsing is that you actually have to have memories. I don't. Nothing. Nada. The earliest memory I have is from the age of 13. I mean, being able to remember and experience the memory as if I were there. Like it just happened yesterday. I rely on pictures.  I rely on my parents handiwork while I was a child. I look at pictures like these so I can have some idea that I actually existed before that day when I was 13.

So, here I am.  In a space that kinda feels like a black hole.  Maybe by having someone going along for the ride- I'll be able to figure this thing out. Me- it is what it is.

P.S. I'm not one to necessarily edit.  I have no problem naming names.  I have no problem using cuss words.  This may offend some people.  But I will say this, I'm being honest. At this point, this is all I can give anyone.

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