Friday, February 11, 2011

6 Days Down....

It's officially been 6 days since I've had any communication with Stan.  We didn't get in a fight.  We didn't have a grown up conversation and decide that we needed to not talk.  But it's been 6 days with nothing.

I feel like I've grown up a lot recently.  I notice the changes.  I talk differently.  I walk with my head high.  I laugh, a lot.  I literally feel like I'm 16 again, but more grown up.  More... Appropriate. 

The old me would be upset.  The old me would automatically feel like I did something wrong.  The new me is still a little upset but, I'm not jumping to any conclusions about the lack of contact.  The new me realizes where the relationship is and isn't going to go.  The new me still loves and cares about him.  The new me still wonders about him everyday.  The new me realizes he has his own life.  The new me realizes I have the greatest feeling of love from him without actually having him in my life. 

I really do like the new me.  The new me is continuing the feeling of love without expectation of receiving it back from him.  I whole-heartedly believe that is the greatest gift anyone can receive... The ability to love without consequence or expectation.  It truly is amazing.

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