Thursday, June 23, 2011

Liar Liar Pants On Fire...

I don't hide well.  Although, I'm really good at "running." 

I've spent the last 7 months feeling like I've done such a good job "finding me."  A couple months ago, I had a craft moment.  I got in the car and when to Office Depot for... "Hello, My Name Is" stickers.  I wanted to give myself a confidence boost.  But what I essentially did was lie to myself. 

I took this picture as soon as I finished and then.... put the project on the floor in the corner of the bedroom.  Immediately I knew I wasn't being truthful.  I don't really feel any of those words.  I want to feel them.  I want to be that girl I wrote in words in that picture frame.  I mean... that's 36 lies.  Those little stickers are my reminder that I am not a very nice person.  Not to myself and not to others. 

Hello, my name is... Tells Tall Tales.

I genuninely care about the people in my life.  So much so, I never had the opportunity to get to know me.  When someone calls me selfish, I have nothing to say other than "Yes, I am."  I had to get selfish to get out of situations.  But, what I didn't do is stop using that situation as an excuse. 

I...I...I, honestly don't know.  I don't know who I am, what I'm about, what I stand for or what I'm willing or not willing to accept for my life. 

I suck... I suck... I suck.

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