Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Even the sanest people have moments of insanity. 

I have them all the time.  I'm flawed. Cracked.  At one time, I was completely broken.  I was, in short, Humpty Dumpty.  I fell off the wall several times. 

Nobody is perfect.  I've never claimed to be.  If anything, I'm really good at being able to remind people how screwed up I am.  I take comfort in all of my insanity.  My insanity is... my comfort blanket.  It's all I have.  I get to feel the twists and turns of emotions.  When I'm sad it's hard to get out of bed.  When I'm happy, I'm the sun itself. 

I guess it's time for an admission... I'm Manic-Depressive.


 I don't like being labeled.  I don't like people recognizing my mood swings.  Although, I do like to be acknowledged.  I've spent my life stuggling to have an understanding of Me.  I started writing because I don't have childhood memories.  I was looking to have something jar my brain.  I found something completely different.  I found Me, present tense.  I'm not a perfect person.  I can not fix things that may or may not have happened as a child or teenager.  All I can do at this point in my life is embrace my insane moments (like yesterday when I was super upset). 

I don't want to change things.  At times, I would love if certain things were different.  But, change?  I've decided that's a big no-no.  I've learned a lot and that I do not take that for granted. 

I'm moving into a BIG life... sanity or no sanity at all, I'm going to accomplish amazing things.  Who's jumping on the ride with me?

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