I'm looking for something. I think I lost it a long long long long long long long time ago. Back in the childhood years, cause I don't remember really ever having it.
Talent. The feeling that I'm nothing but awesome at something. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm GOOD at a lot of things. But I don't have the feeling when I'm done that I did such a good job that I want to continue it. This feeling includes most aspects of my life. Including my parenting skills. So, I guess you could say... I usually end up always screwing up because I don't have confidence in myself to complete the task.
Something happened. Something was said. Something has prevented me from feeling a genuine sense of accomplishment my entire life. I don't know what it is, but I want it back.