Monday, January 17, 2011

Revelations and Confusion...

A couple days ago I wrote about having information that effect not only me but others as well.  I'm conflicted about sharing this information because of relationships that can possibly be completely destroyed.  Not that they aren't already.  I'm really torn because I don't know whether or not sharing can actually be the catalyst to mending these relationships.

The revelation came to me at some point this weekend after I wrote the last blog.  I believe that I can't remember (or should I say, have selective memory about) my childhood because I was also involved.  This is why I'm confused.  Do I have the discussion about my childhood in order to get it off my chest and risk the inability to ever mend certain relationships or do I keep it to myself and hope that one day I will be able to talk to a certain person again?  I was told something in confidence years ago and promised that I would never tell.  However, now that I realize that I may have been involved and that's why I don't have memories of my childhood, I'm not quite sure that I feel comfortable keeping it in.  The relationship with this person has been really strained over the years and I don't know if it will actually benefit the relationship to open the subject. 

I've come a long way recently and I don't want anything to hold me back from continuing to progress, but I also don't want to put up a permanent roadblock from mending this relationship.  Confusion is a hard thing to deal with sometimes.  Especially when you aren't sure what the lesser of two evils is....

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